Timing is Everything

How to transform a brash crime into the new normal in three easy steps

Only a few will be tempted to celebrate: German magazine Spiegel – once, a very long time ago, proud flagship of critical investigate journalism, now an often cringe-inducing, radical-Centrist government and establishment mouthpiece – has noticed the obvious: Germany’s American overlords were involved in the 2022 Nord Stream attack from the very beginning.

Spiegel – to paraphrase the title of a Soviet television classic starring the immortal Viacheslav Tikhonov – has now been authorized to announce: From the spring of 2022 (at the latest) Ukrainian terrorists and CIA spies – already well-acquainted with each other “for years” (How did that happen, by the way? Never mind, we know.) – were meeting to develop the idea of launching the greatest single eco-terrorist attack in Europe’s history. On an “ally.”

You don’t say, Hauptmann Obvious! Honestly, what’s next from Hamburg’s brightest? “Gulf of Tonkin Incident – Did the US Lie?”; “Breaking: Gleiwitz Attack – a Nazi Black Op?”; “The Schlieffen Plan: Did it Fail?”; “Kaiser Wilhelm – Not so Bright after all?” Have all the cringo-meters really gone the way of Germany’s notoriously dysfunctional railways? Is there no one left at Spiegel with a basic sense of professional shame and elementary decency?